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To paraphrase the words of the watermelon guy in House (1977), or gas station guy in Cabin in the Woods (2011), or like a million other ominous horror movie warning givers throughout cinema: You've taken a wrong turn, and you might want to turn back. Hopefully one of the links below is helpful on your journey. And if not, we’ve got the lyrics to the “Monster Mash” below them. So, something for everyone.

Out from his coffin, Drac’s voice did ring
Seems he was troubled by just one thing
He opened the lid and shook his fist and said,
Whatever happened to my Transylvania Twist?

It’s now the mash
It’s now the monster mash
(The monster mash) And it’s a graveyard smash
(It’s now the mash) It’s caught on in a flash
(It’s now the mash) It’s now the monster mash
— Bobby Pickett, "Monster Mash," 1962